{Overcomer...}

Wow... These weeks have been hard. The situation changed last monday. We were hoping it was going to allow us more access to the birthmom. But instead, it has become more restrictive. We know and understand the situation at hand, but for the protection of the birthmom and the twins, we are choosing to keep some details private.

Our agency has not been in contact with the birthmom in over a week and a half. We have no idea if the twins are still in the womb, if she has delivered, or if she even wants to continue with the adoption plan. We just sit and wait. We also have no rights to these children yet. They are not McCabe's yet. So whatever the birthmom is going through, I must respect her privacy, her decisions. I pray daily that God touches her heart. That through this process she sees Christ. That she is filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and love- one she may not understand but one that is undeniably Christ.

For us, it is hard. This season of just waiting and being ready if needed, hurts.. As we were driving in the car on Saturday, I tried to visualize what I am feeling. I feel like I am in a battle. That for weeks I have been hit and beaten, laying on the ground, covering my head as blows/punches keep coming. Part of me just wanted to stay there and become numb to the beating. To commit my Spirit to defeat. To give up and just go home and forget this ever happened. But then a song came on the radio: Overcomer by Mandisa. It spoke to my heart. Here are some of the lyrics:

You're an overcomer
Stay in the fight 'til the final round
You're not going under
'Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it's hopeless
That's when He reminds You
That you're an overcomer
You're an overcomer....

Everyone's been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you're not alone
Just take a breath, don't forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants you to know...


I immediately visualized me standing up. Still getting punched. But with a renewed sense of strength. A strength that no matter what happens I am an overcomer in Christ. He is my strength. He is my hope. For the first time in many weeks, my soul was at peace. Pure peace. I soaked in that moment.

I will fight the spiritual battle over these twins. I pray that they will be loved, cared for, and will grow up to know the love of Christ. To be blessed by the Father's love. (whether that is through us or through the birthmom, or through someone else).

Continue to pray for all involved. It has meant the world to us. It's what is keeping us going. Pray for Jadon... He is such a trooper. He is tired of traveling, being out of routine, of waiting for his brothers. It breaks my heart to see him this way. There have been days when he said "can we just go home" The stress is getting to us all. But the end is near.