37 and counting...

What a journey this has been. So many emotions. So much going through my mind.. We finally got an update today. Our situation yields very little information. Waiting with no information is harder than I thought. My mind wanders in so many directions like: is this a scam? what if the babies are in distress? What is she had the babies and the state took them? Lies, Lies, Lies... but it is hard for me not to go down that road. I questioned if I did the right thing and let people come along this journey with us. People comments play a role in my doubts. But then on the flip side, so many people have held me in prayer and that is the only thing getting me through this journey. So I made the right decision. Continue to pray- pray for strength for me so that I can continue to fight these negative thoughts.

The wait has gotten slightly easier because Jason came down on Saturday. He is blessed by a company that is allowing him to work remotely until the babies are born. Almost 3 weeks apart from each other was too much to bear for our family.

Now onto baby news- Birthmom is 37 weeks pregnant. That is crazy. Only 15% of all twins make it to 38 weeks, which she will be on Sunday. Birthmom is healthy! Praise the Lord. Babies are looking good too. Praise the Lord. Both babies are breech so a scheduled c-section will be in the future. When that will be is yet to be determined. Our situation should change tomorrow (can't go in to details). We still will only get little nuggets of information. But now there may be a chance I can meet her. I should know on Monday if that is a possibility.

The whole reason I came down so early was that our situation was possibly gonna change on Oct.1 and I would have had a chance to meet her. Obviously it didn't happen. But that was a risk I was willing to take. Now the situation may change tomorrow. We are praying we can meet her. And this time Jason would be here too.

Pray for strength for all involved. Birthmom is HUGE (from what we hear). It must be very uncomfortable for her. She needs strength for the rest of this journey, delivery, and afterwards. Pray for strength for the babies to endure the c-section and to be born healthy with no NICU. Pray for strength for us as we wait.

Maybe next post will be about babies being born :)

{Footprints in the Sand..}

This morning, as I was on the beach, I saw many footprints in the sand. (the benefit of being in Florida in October) As I saw them, I was quickly reminded of how Jesus is with us always. The image of two sets of footprints walking side by side. Then when there is one set of prints, it is Jesus carrying us not leaving us.

Throughout the last two weeks, there have been times when I was at the bottom, just ready to burst into tears, to have doubt flood my mind, to be filled with lies of the enemy. And in those moments, someone would randomly text, email, or facebook me that they were praying for me. It was through them, that Jesus was carrying me. Their prayers brought me back to relying on Christ and being filled with renewed strength. It didn't just happen once, but many, many times. It is beautiful how the body of Christ works.

Currently, we are still waiting. As I said in previous posts, we are not in a typical adoption situation. We do not have the luxury of hearing from the birthmom. It has been awhile since we have had an update. We have to wait for the birthmom to contact the agency. So I know she has reached 36 weeks!!! That is huge when carrying twins. The likelihood of them needing to be in the NICU goes dramatically down now. I know the birthmom has not seen a doctor in a long time. So I don't know how close she is to delivering. But I trust my God and I pray that they will be born healthy. I pray for the birthmom as she is getting closer to the end of her pregnancy. From what I have read, carrying twins is very uncomfortable at this point in the pregnancy. So I pray for strength for her. I pray that she is filled with Christ's love and that she has an overwhelming sense of peace within her soul. I pray that God fills me with strength as the waiting is hard, the not knowing. That I would just rest in his peace also.

Hopefully my next post will be one that introduces the twins. All is God's timing.

{Pins and Needles}

Waiting is HARD.

I know the end is drawing near and my mind is going crazy. When a woman is pregnant, she is able to control what she is eating, her medical care, how the baby is moving, and can better be prepared with the arrival of the baby. Unfortunately, I am in a non-typical adoption situation. I have no idea about medical care. Last I heard about the babies was at 32 weeks (they were healthy)- but now we are at 35 weeks. I have no idea what the birth mom is eating, is she resting, is she taking care of herself, is she still smoking, etc. So many questions are going through my mind and most of them can't be answered. Then I have the adoption portion- will she sign the papers, what is the process, what's next, etc. Right now there is nothing to do but wait. Insurance, court papers, hospital bills, naming the children, etc are all up in the air. So many things won't be answered until it is happening. I am a planner- so this process is hard.

I am in Florida to help with the wait- the sunshine, the beach, the Hot temperatures. It is helping but my insides are going crazy. No sleep, anxious stomach, and traveling. What a combination. Hopefully at the end of this all will be two beautiful healthy baby boys. I must keep trusting in the Lord. Seeking Him continually throughout the day. And take one hour at a time.

Continue to pray for us, the babies, and the birth mom.

... Road Trip...

On the road again...

Jadon, my mom, and I started the journey down to Florida on Monday. Over a 1000 miles. Yuck. But the bright side is that I get to see God's beautiful creation.

On Monday, we set out for North Carolina. My sister lives in Asheville so we decided to drive down and spend the night. Auntie Vicki and Kai got to see Jadon and love on him. As always, road trips are memorable. Some funny things happened which will be great memories. It took us a long time to get there. I don't know who had to stop more- my mom or Jadon? (Hint: Jadon is an amazing traveler!!) But we made it and had a wonderful night in Asheville. Beautiful Mountains.

On Tuesday, we headed out for the long part of the trip. 10 hours of drive time down to Jason's brother who lives north of Tampa. We made it in 11 1/2 hours. I could not believe how well Jadon did. We were planning on stopping at a hotel as an option but since JJ did so well- we made it all the way to Florida. He was so excited to see his cousins- and they were all excited to see us!! I unpacked all the baby stuff - that is where we will stay when the babies come. The visit was short but we will soon be back there once the twins are here.

On Wednesday, we headed down to Fort Myers. Only a 3 hour drive. But for me, this was the hardest day. I just didn't want to drive anymore. My foot just hurt. Poor Jadon has been sick and still he was the best traveler among the three of us. We are staying in Fort Myers with my family- cousins and aunt/uncle. Having a little relax time before the chaos begins. Jadon is playing with his cousin who is 5 months older. Oh my word are they cute together. They got to have a sleepover last night- they talked, giggled, and had a great time when they were suppose to be sleeping. I remember sleepovers like that as a child and they were great memories.

Today is a day of doing NOTHING. So nice.

Now we wait. Wait to hear any news of the twins. We are guessing which day the babies are gonna be born.

What is your guess???